It’s been a while. Pardon my long silence but since I promised to serialize this letter, here’s edition two.
Before I proceed though, let me commend you for winning yourself, such a multitude of advocates or sympathizers; some of whom seem to bear a shade of you, the others – I wonder if you’d like to associate with.
In all though, one thing was clear; they wanted the best for you and whoever and wherever you are, they’d like you to appear soon. Woman! You got some real good army behind you. But that will not deter me from expressing my views.
Afterall, this is supposed to be a dialogue, the quintessential conversation I want to have with you through your apologists and nemesis alike.
So let’s enjoy the ride and don’t forget, you’re always at liberty to express your views too. It’s a democratic world and you know, marriage is not by force, abi? And like my friend Blakk Don Jak said, something must kill a man – and in my case, I don’t mind that your rents will descend on me. All die be die.
To start with, let me attempt to expatiate some concerns raised in your many advocates’ responses and address some perceptions too. See, it’s funny how some of your sympathizers perceive me.
They seemed to be concerned that I’m requesting a stay-home wife or housewife or at the very least, a maid. Interesting!! Some were concerned about how I would balance your ambitions with my demands and some felt my letter was too demanding.
In fact, your extreme apologists took me to the cleaners by referring to my piece as “what you should do if you genuinely want your wife to cheat”.
For those, I make no excuses but to consider them disillusioned with a high tendency to cheat, but only looking for the slightest excuse. If indeed they take my harmless letter as recipe for cheating, then, my dear future wife, your clones may well plunge you into what you do not want or have not thought about. You see, they are the ones
I described as “I don’t know if you want to associate with them”. But away from them and contrary to the opinions of me wanting a stay-home wife, I actually desire a strong woman.
Yes, I know you will smirk at the sound of “strong woman”. But that’s indeed what I want. I want a woman who can look me in the face and not yell, or throw shades and insults, but advance very intellectual argument in respect of their position. Yes, I want a woman like your clone Ewuraba Gee, who in the face of all the hue and cry, took time to read and digest my message and gave a response that, if I may borrow a phrase from my good friend Sabrina, gives me mental orgasm. That’s the kind of woman I want. You wonder why? Isn’t it obvious? I have need for intellectual stimuli.
You see, marriage is not only about cuddling, spooning, sex, children and chit chatting. It’s also about partnership. The kind that lends support either ways, good, bad, happy, sad, intellectually, foolishly, whatever way possible. So in real sense, I want a woman who is an embodiment of all these. Yes, that’s strange after writing a thesis of expectations in my last letter. But that’s actually what I want; and don’t be too quick to conclude that what I want does not exist. It does, and I will give you examples of such by the end of this letter.
A woman who is dynamic, driven, trendy, intelligent and yet, domestic, motherly, and above all, God-fearing (for want of a better expression) is POSSIBLE even in this 21st century. Who told you that it is not possible to be career oriented and still be domestic? Having said this, I know your contention will be nowhere other than the word domestic. Yes, I said domestic and I’m happy to tell you who a domestic woman is.
Like I stated in my first letter to you, a domestic woman is the one who will make her home her priority and as I described, focus on the details that makes my focus on the bigger picture complete. You still don’t get it? OK, let’s break it down.
A domestic woman is the one who will among others ensure that her kitchen is clean, there is something to eat at all times, personally supervise the laundry if it means getting external help for that, manage my and her wardrobe and actually cook. Mind you, I have not limited these to just her; of course, she is more than welcome to request help.
All that matters is, she is large and in charge of the affairs. A domestic woman is strong enough to be able to spend some time with me in pursuit of the bigger dream and she does not fear the enormity of it. So go back to my first note and check again, is it too much the things I asked for? You don’t think a woman can give those and still be ambitious?
Well, I know that is possible and that’s why I want a domestic woman. If your idea of domestic (at least, as expressed by some of your rents) is a stay-home wife who does nothing other than taking care of the home, sorry to disappoint you. A domestic woman can also be a career woman.
A career woman definitely must be an intelligent woman. Not to limit the definition of career to any one pursuit, general perception of a career woman is one who is employed in a formal business with let’s say a regular routine and consistent earning. So for example, teaching is a career and so is banking or entrepreneurship (whatever that means).
For me, a strong woman is able to combine this and her many home chores in a perfect manner and still know how to handle her strong man. Even more interesting is the fact that, career women now also include entrepreneurs which also includes a devout orange seller.
So all that your clones are crying about has no basis whatsoever. I desire a woman who can dream and follow her dream – of course in the context of what is feasible and able to bring me on board. That also means a strong woman is a leader. I need a leader in the home.
Family business must be spearheaded by a strong woman. I want to enjoy the leadership and guidance of a woman who is not afraid to state her views, and certainly not afraid to submit too. If that sounds strange to your advocates, then please say something. I want to know your thoughts. Your deepest fears and concerns and frankly, your views on the thoughts expressed by those fighting for you. I believe your words will be final in this matter.
To honor my promise of giving you and example of a strong woman, let me share my admiration for Angela Ahrendts with you. She is a senior vice president of retail and online stores for Apple.
I have encountered several stories about his woman online which describes her as authentic, passionate, God-fearing and family oriented. In almost all the articles about her, I have seen traits of these values in them.
Most striking was her letter to her daughters — read here where she shares a few wisdom nuggets with her daughters. This is an example of a woman who is motherly and career driven.
I told you it is possible to combine the two. She makes time for her home, loves her husband and children and excels at her job. If Angela can do it, why not you honey? I see success in you and that’s why I think you can be the ideal strong domestic woman.
Finally dear, when questioned about his successful 50year marriage, grandpa Einstein had this to say; “When we first got married, we mad a pact. It was this: In our life together, it was decided I would make all the big decisions and my wife would make all of the little decisions. For fifty years, we have held true to that agreement. I believe that is the reason for the success in our marriage.
However, the strange thing is that in fifty years, there hasn’t been one big decision.” My good friend Gifty shared this with me and it resonated with my initial proposal to focus on the big picture while you focus on the everyday details. What a coincidence?
As always, I would love to hear from you; moreso from your admirers and advocates.
I know to expect all kinds of thoughts, so no worries, I’m all eyes and mind, waiting to read your response.
Until then, have fun and if you ever get to see the Black Panther, know that I have in mind to build for you, a Wakanda!
Author: Anani Yao Kuwornu,
Self-employed
By: Ghana/Ultimatefmonline.com/106.9FM
The post Dear Future Wife (Part 2) appeared first on Ultimate FM.
It’s been a while. Pardon my long silence but since I promised to serialize this letter, here’s edition two. Before I proceed though, let me commend you for winning yourself, such a multitude of advocates or sympathizers; some of whom seem to bear a shade of you, the others – I wonder if you’d like […]
The post Dear Future Wife (Part 2) appeared first on Ultimate FM.
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