Never put all your eggs in one basket.
Why do women feel they should date only one man at a time? Instead, they should try their hand at dating multiple people at once.
I was never very good at playing the field. When a man showed a genuine interest in me, I would stop dating other men for one big reason: I lacked the confidence to juggle several men at once because I doubted my self-worth.
I was never comfortable playing the field by dating two guys at a time — I felt sneaky and unethical. I didn’t know how to deal with two men texting and calling me and how to handle their sexual advances. I was afraid if a guy found out that I was dating someone else, he would drop me.
If I casually (accidently) slept with a man, I felt morally obligated to cut myself off from other guys. I threw all my eggs into his basket and we dated until he disappeared into the night.
Putting all your focus on dating one man limits your opportunities to meet your ideal life’s partner.
Dating one man at a time is a mistake on several levels. You invest your time, energy and emotions in a man and then weeks or months later you decide he’s the wrong man. You become intimately involved with a so-so man, you put another notch on your bedpost and he dumps you. OUCH! You forfeit opportunities to date a variety of men, one who could have been your perfect match.
As long as you are respectful to the feelings of the men you date (you’re not a “player” or a “sleepover”) and you are truly looking for the qualities in a man that will lead to a meaningful, committed relationship, not only is it okay to date several guys at one, it’s the path to finding true love.
Here are 4 vital reasons all smart women should date multiple men at once:
1. It allows you to compare and contrast the attributes and compatibility in numerous men.
2. It boosts your self-confidence and improves your dating skills.
Having the amorous attention from two (or more) men has a way of making a woman feel desired and empowered, increasing your confidence and self-assurance. Dating is like interviewing for a job; with each interview (date) you hone your communication skills, you become more at ease with the interview (dating) process, and you learn to more accurately assess the potential of a job position (man).
3. It helps you to reserve emotional and intimate involvement with the wrong man.
If you fall in love quickly and then romanticize and obsess about the outcome of a possible relationship, you need a reality check. Keeping a diary while dating two men can help you curb your infatuation and sentimental longings. Record both men’s desirable traits, as well as their objectionable behavior and then heed the facts.
A guy may be handsome, successful and intriguing, but he lacks the qualities necessary to maintain a long-term relationship.
4. It sends a man the subliminal message: he’ll have to work to win your heart.
Now, send yourself an note: A man is NOT your boyfriend until he tells you that you’re the woman of his dreams, he wants you to meet his mom, he’s closing his online dating account and he wants you to do the same, and he asks you if you prefer yellow gold or white gold jewelry.
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Source: Your Tango
The post 4 reasons smart women date more than one guy at a time appeared first on Citi Newsroom.
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