Informed and involved parenting: how to establish open communication with your child’s school

By: Dela MANTEY

Over time, I have observed the keen interest of some parents in the growth and learning journey of their children. They attend every event, every open day and every parent workshop.

They ask questions to understand the milestones of their toddlers and performance among their peers. The light and excitement in their eyes when they discover the unique traits their children carry is heartwarming and quite intriguing.

On the other hand, I have also observed that some parents barley know much about the performance of their children, their attitudes at school and I dare say, their behaviours at home.

They miss almost every open day at the end of the school term or send nanny’s/child minders to attend on their behalf.

You won’t find this category of parents at school events and when it comes to home work, they rarely submit them on time, if submitted at all. The difference in the performance of these children is very clear.

Children perform better when parents are actively involved in their journey and as a parent, you can only be actively involved if you’re well informed about their progress – that way, you know what you are working towards.

There’s no doubt that we are in a fast-paced world now and the clock seems to be ticking against us but making time to stay up to speed on your child’s developmental journey should be a priority.

There are some simple steps you can take to stay informed about your child while juggling all the other coloured balls that the world keeps throwing into your court.

Here are five steps:

Schedule regular meetings:

In today’s world, we can’t operate without a schedule. As tight as your schedule may be, you should definitely have an hour or two to spare.

Pull up that calendar now and pin a day out of the 20 working days within a month and request a meeting with your child’s school to discuss their progress, strengths, and challenges.

These conversations do not take all day and it would amaze you what you’d discover about your child. Toddlers are full of surprises as they grow. Don’t miss out on them.

Ask open-ended questions:

Asking open-ended questions in a conversation with your toddler’s teacher encourages meaningful conversations. Open-ended questions can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” This allows the teacher to share detailed and informative responses, therefore giving you further insights and observations about your child.

You will gain a better understanding of your child’s strengths, weaknesses, and learning style. This is a great start to a meaningful collaboration with the school for the success of your child. Some examples of open-ended questions you could ask include:

• What’s my child interested in lately?
• How’s my child interacting with others?
• What are some of your observations about my child’s learning style?
• How does my child interact with his/her friends during playtime?
• What are some strategies you’ve found to be effective in supporting my child’s development?
• How can we work together to help my child achieve his/her goals?

Remember, the goal is to start a conversation, not an interrogation!

Share your observations:

Sharing observations about your child with their teacher will help to build a collaborative relationship with the school. This step can facilitate your child’s holistic growth in many ways.

By sharing your observations about your child’s habits, interests and behaviours at home, you can help the teacher understand your child’s strengths, weaknesses and learning style better.

The teacher can use this information to provide targeted support and accommodations to help your child succeed. It can also help ensure consistency between home and school, as the teacher can reinforce what you’re doing at home.

By combining your observations at home with the teacher’s observations at school, you may also be able to identify potential needs or issues earlier, such as developmental delays or learning difficulties.

Your observations can help to tailor their teaching to meet your child’s unique needs and interests and to support their emotional well-being and relationships with peers.

Some examples of observations you might share with your child’s teacher include:

• Your child’s interests and passions
• Their strengths and challenges
• Any developmental milestones or achievements
• Their learning style and preferences at home
• Any behavioural concerns or issues
• Strategies that work well at home to support their learning or behaviour

Remember, it’s a collaborative journey and sharing observations is a two-way street! Be sure to ask the teacher for their observations and insights as well to get a comprehensive understanding of your child’s development.

Be approachable and responsive:

To be approachable and responsive in a conversation with your toddler’s teacher, you must make yourself available to answer questions or address concerns from the teacher.

During your scheduled conversation, show that you’re engaged and interested in the conversation by paying attention to what the teacher is saying and respond thoughtfully.

Remember that they are part of the nurturing journey, so be pleasant and use positive nonverbal cues: Nod, smile, and use encouraging gestures. Avoid interrupting and let the teacher finish speaking before you respond. Show genuine interest by asking follow-up questions and seek clarification.

Show interest in the teacher’s perspective:

To show interest in the teacher’s opinions and perspectives, ask for the teacher’s thoughts on your child’s development and be open to their insights.

As suggested earlier, ask open-ended questions and encourage the teacher to share their thoughts and opinions. If you are still having a hard time starting, consider the following:

• Ask for their thoughts: “What do you think about…”, “How do you feel about…”.
• Seek their advice: “What would you recommend…”, “How would you handle…”.
• Show appreciation: Express gratitude for their insights and expertise.
• Paraphrase and summarize: Repeat back what you’ve understood from the conversation to ensure you’re on the same page.
• Be open-minded: Be willing to consider different perspectives and ideas.

By following these tips, you’ll be able to have a productive, respectful, and collaborative conversation with your toddler’s teacher.

As a parent, it is extremely necessary to be in constant communication with your child’s school. By doing this, you have access to regular information about their progress, interests and challenges.

These insights will inform your strategies towards ensuring a holistic and successful early years development journey for your child.

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