What to say when someone gives you unsolicited advice

Handling unsolicited advice doesn’t have to be awkward.

Receiving advice can sometimes be helpful, but when it’s given without us asking, it can feel uncomfortable or even irritating.

Unsolicited advice comes from people who mean well; they might genuinely believe they’re helping us. However, it can also feel like they’re overstepping boundaries or doubting our ability to handle things on our own. We all want to feel respected and trusted, and sometimes advice we didn’t ask for can make us feel judged instead.

So, how should we respond when someone gives us unsolicited advice?

1. Thank them, but stay neutral

One of the simplest ways to respond to unsolicited advice is to say something like, “Thank you for your thoughts on this.” Acknowledging their advice politely shows respect for their intention, but using a neutral response doesn’t encourage further discussion. This response keeps the interaction friendly without inviting more advice.

2. Use empathy to keep the peace

Try to understand where they’re coming from, especially if the advice is from a family member or close friend. A response like, “I see you’re just looking out for me; I appreciate it,” can show that you recognise their care, even if you’re not looking to follow their advice. Using empathy helps maintain the relationship without putting pressure on yourself to act on their suggestions.

3. Express your confidence gently

If the person giving advice doesn’t back down easily, a gentle way to set a boundary is to say, “I’ve got it handled, but thank you.” This phrase shows that you’re confident in your choices without dismissing them. Sometimes people give advice out of habit, but a friendly reminder that you’re okay on your own may help stop further suggestions.

4. Shift the focus

Sometimes, you can steer the conversation away from their advice by asking them a question about themselves. For instance, “Thanks for the advice! By the way, how are things going with you?” This tactic shifts the focus and helps you move past the unwanted advice naturally.

5. Be direct, but respectful

If someone’s advice feels pushy or crosses a line, it’s okay to be more direct. Saying something like, “I appreciate your advice, but I’d prefer to handle this my own way,” can clearly communicate your need for space while staying respectful. Being honest can sometimes be the best way to protect your boundaries.

6. End with positivity

Even if the advice was unwelcome, ending on a positive note helps keep things friendly. You could say, “Thanks for caring about me. I’ll keep it in mind,” and move on to a different topic. This kind of response keeps the interaction light while still being kind.

ALSO READ: How not to give absolutely horrible advice

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