Ask Pulse is a weekly advice column and a listening ear to help you sort through your issues.
This week on Ask Pulse, we are addressing Understanding Girlfriend's concerns about her boyfriend's unusual fetish that is killing her joy in the relationship.
Dear Pulse,
I’ve been dating this guy for a while, and while we’ve had our ups and downs, he’s generally a great partner. However, there’s one thing that’s really starting to trouble me and affecting our relationship: his fetish.
He’s been insisting that it’s on his bucket list to have sex in a public place because the thrill of possibly getting caught makes it more exciting for him, and he wants to experience this with me.
I’m really uncomfortable with the idea and find it ridiculous, but no matter how many times I tell him no, he keeps pressuring me. I’m torn between walking away from the relationship or just giving in to make him happy. What should I do?
Understanding Girlfriend.
Also read: 10 dates later and she still says she's thinking about it
Dear Understanding Girlfriend,
It sounds like you’re in a tough situation, and I can understand why you're feeling conflicted. Relationships thrive on compromise, but they should also be based on mutual respect and understanding of boundaries.
Your discomfort with his request is valid, and your partner must respect your feelings and boundaries as much as you respect his desires.
Pressuring someone into doing something they are uncomfortable with, especially when it involves a risky act like sex in a public place, is not okay.
It’s important to communicate openly with him about how this pressure is affecting you and the relationship. If he truly values you and your relationship, he should respect your decision and stop pushing for something you're not comfortable with.
If you find that he continues to pressure you despite your objections, then it may be time to reevaluate whether this relationship is healthy for you.
Ultimately, you should never feel compelled to do something that makes you uneasy just to please someone else. Your happiness and comfort are just as important as his.
All the best,
Pulse
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