Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How are you do? As for me, I am do fine.
Senior, you remember that old man who sits at the bar drinking drinks like ogoglo, kill-me-quick, or ogyateshie which is distilled in Bubuashie, packaged in Kaneshie, wholesaled in Teshie, retailed in bottles at Agbogbloshie, sold in tots in Okaishie, and drank in Bawaleshie?
Senior, I am referring to that I-Put-It-To-You guy old man called Gbeetsatsu, not the discotheque, who went to meet some old men and women who sit on benches doing nothing and pleaded with them to beg our fetish priestess, Mama Gin, to just come and lie that she took three lots from Nana Onapowuraa Ontiaobiara’s lot’s family to add to the over five million lots our Omanhene, Nana Onsurowuo Owuobiayeowuo, to make him lead by five million and three lots.
Senior, Uncle Gbeetsatsu is at it again. He is now telling us something we are all shocked at, that it is only now he knows. Gbeetsatsu is saying that Mama Gin, a well decorated fetish priestess, is not a follower of Yesu Christus Emmanuel. So? One may ask; but why is he telling us something everybody knows?
Senior, I believe something is wrong with Gbeetsatsu. Has he ever seen Mama Gin in a pray-for-me church before? I am beginning to get angry.
Senior, ask why Gbeetsatsu is not known by any abroad-abroad names like Favour, Divinity, Chorus, Courageous, Sanity, Cool Heart, Sweet Dreamer, Peace, Rejoicing, Read-Book, Study-Hard, Sing-Praises, God-Can, God-Does, God-Triumphs and many others as his clan folks are mostly known by, and decided to go local and adopted the name Gbeetsatsu?
Senior, it is because he believes that we Ogyakromians must also go local and believe and trust in what our ancestors did and practice. So why is it that when somebody is practicing our native way of worship he finds trouble with that?
Senior, but what is Gbeetsatsu’s own here? Why is he all about our lovely fetish priestess of our lot-casting shrine, Mama Gin? Is it about love, or what? I cannot telling, because I am not understanding.
Senior, if he disregards all that Akwasi Abro-Nipa brought down to us, to the extent that he even decides not to have obroni name, then what is the fuss about when one woman decides to go traditional in praises and worship of her ancestral gods and goddesses, spirits and wines, and what have you?
Senior, as you remember, Gbeetsatsu wants to develop a new way of judging whether someone is just or wrong. The method is simple. When you dream that someone has stolen your money, especially billions of cowries, in your dream, when in real life you have only a hundred cowries to your name, just drag him or her to face the old men and women who sit on benches doing nothing, and beg them to make him or her tell the truth small and shame the devil that yes, he or she stole your money in your dream, and presto, he or she will be made to pay physically in full what he or she stole in your dream. Can you imagine? It is fair?
Senior, the story said over and over again goes like this – During the immediate past lot-casting festival, Gbeetsatsu’s boss, Onapowura Nana Ontiaobiara, who was so determined to win, started counting and branding and labelling all lots that came his way. He got six million and three lots in the first count, and thought he was in a comfortable lead and started rejoicement in full battle cry, because this time round he was in a comfortable lead.
Senior, one of his aplankes brought him some news of bad tidings – that it seems our Omanhene, Nana Onsurowuo, had done his thing some again. Nana Onapowura then took a peep over the fence into Nana Onsurowuo’s stable area and visions of millions upon millions of lots greeted his eyes.
Senior, some of Onapowura’s disciples insisted that he was only having optical illusions and that he should recount his lots, and that maybe, by the Grace of Yahweh, his total count will exceed Onsurowuo’s.
Senior, he counted and counted and recounted and recounted again and arrived at three lots, short. This is where Ogyakrom’s problems started. Nana Onapowura insisted that his three lost lots had been taken by fire by force to Onsurowuo’s camp, and he demanded for them.
Senior, to tell you the truth, even if these three lots are added unto Onapowura’s lots, like ten times over, he will still chop last.
Senior, our old men and women who sit on benches doing nothing were approached by Onapowura’s team of bar keepers, led by Gbeetsatsu, and begged them to beg Mama Gin to come and speak the lie and praise the devil that those three lots had found their way into Onsurowuo’s camp. As simple as that.
Senior, the old men and women who sit on benches doing nothing sat up on their benches and said to Gbeetsatsu: “Fine, but may we have the names of the three lots so that we can conduct a roll-call, and when we hear their voices saying “present”we shall repatriate and deport them to you.”
Senior, Gbeetsatsu said he does not know their names, insisting that Mama Gin should just come and just lie that she asked them to join Onsuruowuo’s camp.
Senior, if the old men and women who sit on benches doing nothing had agreed to his request, a dangerous president, sorry precedent, would have descended upon this land of Ogyakrom.
Senior, it will mean anybody at all could wake up from sleep and say they dreamt seeing you stealing their money, and you have to pay them, not in the dream, but in reality. So the wise old men and women sitting on benches doing nothing decided to take a decision that this strange assumption should never be assumed to be sensible, and that it should not be made to happen.
Senior, trust Gbeetsatsu, he will never say die, even if the bones are rotten. So he got up one day and went evangelising, like St Paul Saul in the Good Book, preaching that Mama Gin was not a follower of Yesu Christus Emmanuel, that was why she refused to, at least, come and lie small that, indeed, she saw and/or supervised the deportation of the three lots from Onapowura’s tent to Onsurowuo’s.
Senior, you see, the thing is Yesu Christus Emmanuel is such a very patient God, slow in anger and abundant in mercy, not Mercy Oppong. So if you tell a lie in His Name, he will ignore you and give you a long rope, like from Tema Station to Adenta barrier, for you to voluntarily hang yourself.
Senior, as for the god Mama Gin worships in the lot-casting shrine, one do not have the leisure to lie. Immediately you lie pe, no matter how small, whether white lie or yellow lie, you are finished, doomed, exterminated, so this is what she does not want to do, but Gbeetsatsu is insisting she does. Mama Gin loves life and wants to live long.
Senior, as for me, the truth is I am Dan, sorry I am Done!
Letter to Senior Opupulepu (145) Gbeetsatsu Again? What Can the Matter Be?
Dear Senior Opupulepu,