Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How do you do? As for me I am do fine, fine.
Senior, are you understand that in Ogyakrom our village name is the twin for corruption? Everybody talks about it; everybody complains about it, and everybody does some and enjoys it.
Senior, you remember a certain self-acclaimed elder, the original Nana Achara-Chachi, who ranked himself the richest man in the whole of ewiase?
Senior, this Nana wanted to travel to the land of the Long-Noses, but he was broke and could not pay for a visa, let alone, have travel money on him. Like a professional lotto doctor, he went to the then Omanhene, Alhaji Blanket Nana Kuntu Ampong, with what can pass to be a lotto working book.
Senior, in the presence of Nana Kuntu and his whole court, he worked some numbers and came to the conclusion with five direct numbers. The numbers then interpreted and prophesied that the whole of Ogyakrom had money, more than ten times what all the villages put together in the whole of ewiase had.
Senior Alhaji Blanket Nana Kuntu Ampong, who loved staking lotto but never won even once, sat up in the stool and asked all his aplankes in charge of monies and cowries, why they never told him Ogyakrom had so much money.
Senior, Alhaji Blanket asked where the money was, and Nana Achara-Chachi, cleared his throat and said that the money was in a certain old sea chest in one village of the Long Noses. All he needed was Nana Kuntu to give him one hundred guards, five hundred servants, three hundred concubines, fifty camels loaded with foreign cowries, papers to prove that he was the highest officer in Nana Kuntu’s court, in fact, his next in command.
Senior, an excited Nana Kuntu Ampong did just that, and, in fact, he tripled everything and in Nana Achara-Chachi’s introductory letter he was anointed the Crown Prince, the daachihene of Ogyakrom, by the then Omanhene. And to prove the status of this wonderful lotto worker, Nana Kuntu Ampong gave him his own regalia and sacred staff of office to carry along.
Senior, to make sure that Nana Achara-Chachi spent nothing on the guards, servants and concubines, Nana Ampong gave each of them ten times the wages they usually earned. As for the concubines, anytime any of them did the do with Nana Achara-Chachi, they were paid three times what they would have charged. This was apart from the wages they were to receive. Senior, come and see fight and words like “I came here first… He saw me first… He called me first.”
Senior, Nana Achara-Chachi went to the land of the Long-Noses, and instead of bringing home our money, he sold the guards and servants to slave masters to work on plantain plantations, and the concubines to top brothels to do ashawo work, as in prostitution.
Senior, Nana Achara-Chachi then lived like a king in the land of the Long-Noses, until Nana Kuntu Ampong was exited off the throne and sent on that trip of no return to the life hereafter by the original Togbe Xornametor aka Captain Chaos.
Senior, Nana Achara-Chachi waited long enough to be sure that Nana Kuntu Ampong’s ghost followed him to the life hereafter, before he came back to Ogyakrom, completely broke and looking like a destitute.
Senior, he again tried that trick on Captain Chaos who was on the throne for the second time, but it never worked. The reason was that Togbe Xornametor, once loved staking lotto. But was one day hoodwinked by a crook of a lotto doctor, and he had to sell everything he had and even added the entire property and estate belonging to his entire family, nucleus and external, to pay the lotto doctor a third of the amount received, and used the rest on the numbers. Not a single of the ten numbers dropped, and he became so broke he had to credit yor ke gari.
Senior, since then, Togbe vowed to deal with any lotto doctor who came his way, and when Nana Achara-Chachi offered himself and was promptly thrown into jail.
Senior, he was let out at the end of his sentence, more broke than ever, and thus Nana Achara-Chachi thought of how to make money. In his broke state he walked on foot to the land of the Long Noses carrying a wooden stool, which had been soaked for hundred days and hundred nights in ganja, as in wee, as in Mari-Joana.
Senior, as soon as he arrived at the gates of the village of the Long-Noses, the guard dogs pounced on him and swore to their masters that he was carrying ganja, and that the stuff was in the stool. The Long-Nose guards decided to split open the stool, and Nana Achara-Chachi warned that it contained the souls of his ancestors, including some kobolo gods, so he was not agree. The guards still stood their grounds until finally Nana made them agree to sign nkrata, as in paper, that if they destroyed the stool and found wee inside he would plead guilty and submit himself to a life time in jail without even going to court. However, if nothing was found in the stool, except wood, they would have to pay him three billion of their senior cowries.
Senior, this was agreed, and the stool was split into two, nothing dey inside, split again, were dodge until it was converted into chaff, still not a single weed was found, and the Long-Nose officials had to pay Nana Achara-Chachi three billion of their cowries, and something big as compensation for wasting his time.
Senior, this is corruption at the highest point, and one would ask, why is corruption the middle name of Ogyakrom?
Senior, you see, once upon a time, a certain akupa, Tekpe Quash, who was known for embezzling his fellow pupils’ pens, pencils, gums and exercise book, set out to a village called Ferdinand Polo (is no relations to Mohammed Polo) to learn how to plant and grow and harvest kokoo, not as in the porridge we all know of.
Senior, this guy who when he was in exams room can embezzle brilliant students’ answer sheets and put his name on it, so that he collects the pass marks for free, decided he had made enough money and was going to come back to the village.
Senior, in the village of Ferdinand Polo, the Paramount Chief had decided that no one should ever send a picture of kokoo outside, let alone, the pod itself.
Senior, Tekpe Quash knew he had to send something home and decided on taking a maize bag full of kokoo seeds, which I do not know how, yet managed to bring the seeds to Ogyakrom without anyone knowing he carried that load.
Senior, he planted the seeds and made money out of it. And soon every farmer who does not know how to cultivate cassava decided to plant kokoo. And soon and very soon, Ogyakrom was selling kokoo to the rest of ewiase and making lots of money.
Senior, all of Ogyakrom started basking in wealth and glorified the corrupt things Tekpe Quash did.
Senior, so, therefore, if we glorify corruption, ala Tekpe Quash’s way, why should we complain when corruption engulfs Ogyakrom?
As for me, I am Dan. Sorry I am Done.
It’s Me.
The post Letter to Senior Opupulepu (138) There Was Be Corruption, Corruption Everywhere appeared first on The Chronicle Online.
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